Warehouse 13
by single girl seeks good pizza
Summary: In episode 37, Roy Mustang and his comrades search for the legendary "Warehouse 13." Little do they know, they are about to ruin one of the most dramatic climax scenes in anime history.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Death note or Fullmetal Alchemist. Three of my idols Tsugumi Obha, Takashi Obata, and Hiromu Arakawa do._

Warehouse 13

Five figures stood inside a vacant warehouse yard. Three were on the hunt for the rumored "Haunted Warehouse 13," the fourth was their cynical leader, and the fifth was a blonde who seemed like his brains had been sucked right out of his skull.

"Maybe it's a were-house, kind of like a werewolf and it needs a full moon!" the shortest one, Sergeant Fuery suggested, upon noticing that the ground where "Warehouse 13" was supposedly located was empty.

"Give it up, Fuery!" his boss, Colonel Roy Mustang, snapped, whacking the sergeant upside the head. He was probably just annoyed with the bespectacled man's lame pun.

At that moment, 2nd Lieutenant Breda had an epiphany as he noticed the row of warehouses perpendicular to the one the group was standing in. They were each labeled with a letter of the alphabet. "Hey, I think I know what you guys saw last night. Look over there," he said, indicating the other buildings. "Doesn't that letter B look like the number thirteen?" The rest of the group looked at the warehouse, finally realizing the truth.

"I guess you could look at it like that…" Warrant Officer Falman said, his sentence trailing off into nothing.

"So, you just misread it due to the darkness and your superstition," Mustang stated to his followers, holding the lantern he was carrying up to the building's door.

"Man, it was all for nothing," Breda muttered, half relieved and half disappointed that their search ended in failure.

"See, once you get the trick it's just like that!" the colonel scolded, furious at his subordinates for dragging him out here, making him miss out on valuable sleep.

"What about the ghosts?" Fuery asked shyly.

"There's no such thing!"

"Thank God…" the sergeant sighed, relieved. "Now I can take my normal route home tomorrow."

"If you all get it, let's go home," Mustang ordered the group, and walked back in the direction they had came. The group followed, with the zombie-like Havoc lagging behind.

Just when the band of soldiers thought they were safe, a frightening, evil laughter emitted from inside Warehouse B. It started out as a low chuckle, escalating into terrifying roars that would make even a homunculus cringe in utter horror. "Hehehehe… GYA HA HA HA HA HA! _GYA HA HA HA HA!!"_

They all turned around abruptly, their faces drained of any color that was there before. Not that Havoc noticed, zombie-like as he was.

"Colonel, you told me there weren't any ghosts!" Fuery sobbed. Mustang rolled his eyes, and stomped over the door.

"It's probably just that Elric shrimp messing with us," he muttered, and threw the door open. "OKAY, FULLMETAL! GET OUT OF THERE YOU LITTLE PUNK!" he yelled. His comrades crouched behind him, petrified expressions plastered across their faces at the scene before them. Of course excluding Havoc, who still looked like Gluttony had consumed each and every one of the lieutenant's brain cells.

Warehouse B was filled with strangers. Right against the far wall was a brown-haired young man, looking rather… psychotic. A second man, black-haired, was pointing a gun at the first, his hands shaking. Right in front of him was a small white-haired teen (_"Still taller than Fullmetal, though,"_ Roy thought with a smirk upon seeing the sheep-like child.) flanked by a blonde woman. A pair of men was struggling to restrain a third man with long black hair and glasses, looking just as insane as the brunette in the back of the room. Also there were a large man with squinty eyes and one more with a huge afro. Everyone inside the warehouse turned to gawk at the Colonel, looking rather confused.

"THERE ARE PEOPLE IN HERE!" Breda, Fuery, and Falman all screamed in perfect unison and darted off, the walking encyclopedia dragging the still-dazed Havoc behind him.

"Get back here you morons!" Roy yelled at the fleeing quartet, but not getting any response. He grumbled to himself and turned back to the crowd inside. "All of you, out! This is military property!" he commanded them, gesturing to the door behind him.

The long-haired man with glasses gasped. "NO!" he shouted, then somehow picked up a black notebook lying on the floor and threw it. The book, with amazing accuracy, hit Roy in the face. Furious, he peeled it off, cursing at the man and the newly-formed paper cut over his left eye.

"All right, THAT'S IT!" he yelled, and prepared to incinerate all of them; at least until he looked up and saw the figure that was now floating near the brown-haired man. It was a horrifying creature: pale blue skin and spiky hair in a brighter variation of the same color, red and yellow eyes, a bony figure, and black feathered wings… the skull-covered black outfit the demon wore completed the look.

The creature waved innocently at the helpless soldier. "Hello there, human," it said in a creepy, raspy voice. Colonel Roy Mustang, alias "the Flame Alchemist," saw that the end was nigh. He felt the blood drain from his face and his legs go limp. In a last-ditch attempt to survive, he sprinted away screaming louder than even Fuery had.

He didn't stop running until he reached the gates leading to the warehouse yard. There, his comrades were, unfittingly, playing a round of poker. They looked up when they heard the horrified colonel approaching at a rapid pace, only for him to dive headfirst into their poker table screaming like a lunatic. Cards scattered everywhere, and Roy looked up at his comrades, looking paler than usual.

"You were right," he gasped, then fainted. The lower-ranking officers stared at his limp body, bewildered. Fuery reached out and poked him, getting a twitch of the knee in response. They all sat there in silence for a brief period of time.

"Is he dead?" a suddenly-revived Havoc asked dumbly.

***

Back at Warehouse B, the SPK, Task Force, and two of the Kiras stared at the doorway where the black-haired military officer had been a moment ago. Matsuda felt his gun drop out of his hand and clatter to the floor.

"That… was really awkward," he said to the silent warehouse. And for the first time in the young cop's life, everyone in the room was in complete agreement.

**A/N: Lo and behold, my first published fanfiction! Read and review or else I'll revive Roy and have him toast you. No flames please, you-know-who's got me covered in that department. And yes, I do realize the the final scene of Death Note was in the Yellow Box Warehouse. Just bear with me here! :)**

**A/N 2: 3-15-10 -- Fixed a typo**


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